Eulogy for a friend with cancer

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Eulogy for a friend with cancer

In the midst of my grief, I faced the daunting task of crafting a eulogy for an extraordinary person, Trina Grillo, my best friend for 27 years. Just the year before, she was named Outstanding Law Professor of the Year by her peers. I felt an enormous obligation to her family to tell her story well.

Today's demographics almost guarantee that we will all some day need to write a memorial tribute of some sort. Fortunately, my years of professional writing experience served me well.

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As I wrote, I cried and I laughed. I also learned some important lessons. Keep yourself out of it. This may seem strange advice at first. What I discovered, though, is that I began writing about me - my grief and my reactions and experiences related to her illness. I decided instead to reach out, to comfort as well as to honor. So I reworked my "I" sentences, and the eulogy became concise and focused.

For example, "I was amazed by the tremendous outpouring. All you friends arranged car pools back and forth from Oakland to Palo Alto, opened up your homes, raised money, and even offered your housekeeping services.

Delete or rewrite them. Speak honestly and pay attention to rhythm. Early on, I decided to include both accomplishments and disappointments. I organized the flow so that our emotions would get some relief. Funny anecdotes helped but, surprisingly, so did tough glimpses of my friend's six-year battle with cancer. Here's an example of the latter, which elicited some chuckles: "Trina never held any grudges, but she couldn't quite forgive Paul for leaving this earth so abruptly, especially when she needed him so desperately these past few weeks.My friend Leigh would have loved that I'm writing a HuffPost piece about her.


eulogy for a friend with cancer

She would say, though, in that sassy way of hers, "Why'd you wait until I died to write it I was awfully swell alive, you know. She died September 8th after what is commonly referred to as "battling cancer" for over a year.

But there was nothing common about Leigh, or the way she fought harder then a solider in the trenches to beat our plague. Until the very end she held fast to the hope that she would beat it, or at least gain a few more years.

She wanted more time with her husband and her 12 year old daughter, the miracle girl of her dreams. Even in the face of death she barely allowed the word. Staying positive was all she had left to fight with. But let's get into the real story. It's not the way she fought, and it's not that she died. That's not the story at all. It's that she lived and for a bunch of years graced this planet with her presence. It's that she was amazing and totally unique and one of those rare and wonderful people we sometimes call characters.

Leigh Hamilton was a beauty.

eulogy for a friend with cancer

She was the quintasential California Girl all of us east coast girls growing up in the early '60s dreamed of becoming. Her blond, surfer-chick-meets-beauty-queen looks matured over the years into a sexy, sassy, smart throw back to those glamourous old Hollywood starlets.

She was tall; statuesque is the right term, with a killer body, the kind that calls forth the expression Va Va Voom.

How to talk to someone with cancer - Top tips from patients (2019) - Cancer Research UK

And she had the voice, and the laugh to go with the rest of the package. My introduction to Leigh was 20 years ago, and it went like this. She had just gone from being an actress to owning an art gallery, smart gal that she was. She had fallen in love with Warren, the painter whom she married, and threw herself into promoting him and his art.

A much worthier cause, I might add, than hanging out waiting for her agent to call. Not that she wasn't a good actress.People need to stop using this phrase. Cancer is a brutal disease.

How to Give a Eulogy

I know. I had stage 3 colon cancer. I have been cancer free for over 12 years. Does that mean I beat cancer? I guess some could say that but what does that say about all of the other people that had the same thing that I had, did the same treatment I did, but died?

Does it mean they lost but I won? It may have prevented them from doing certain things while still living. Some people fight cancer with everything they have, every day that they take a breath.

It's so beautifully written I am going to share it here. Please take a moment to pray for her and her family. She was a great kid and I think of her and her family often. I know Lindsey Eyles. Cancer never stood a chance against her.

I know it wore down her body. I know it exhausted her strength. And I know it took her life. And what a smile it was! Everything good, everything wholesome, everything pure about childhood was found in her smile. But there was more—a hint of mischief, a sense of self-confidence, an unmistakable kindness. It was the kind of smile that drew people to her. That smile was there the first time I saw Lindsey. And it was still there the last time I saw her. The ravages of cancer, chemo and radiation could not wipe it from her face.

If anything, her smile was brighter and more joyous the last time I saw her. Cancer was helpless against it. Lindsey was doubly blessed with beauty—inside and out.It was for a kid I'd known in high school who had somehow managed to get hit by a car in front of a bar outside my hometown.

I'd read about it in the paper, left work, and snuck into the back of the service. I hadn't known the guy all that well, but I remembered that he had a reputation for being particularly tough, the kind of guy you wouldn't want to mess with.

There was a picture of him somewhere--at the door or on the altar or in someone's hands--and I remember that his hair was hanging down in front of his right eye, just as it always had in high school. I sat there, having come for selfish reasons, out of curiosity, really, thinking, Why was his hair always in front of his eye?

I wish I had spoken.

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I wish I had stood up and said something about that hair. The way this tough guy sort of hid behind that shock of hair, it told me something about him.

But I kept quiet. I listened to the eulogy. I don't remember one word of it.

Losing Leigh: Remembering A Friend Recently Lost To Cancer

But the years flip by, and the hair is still in his eyes. I've been asked to deliver a half dozen eulogies since then. People tell me I'm good at it. I don't care about that. Being good at public speaking is just a party trick.

I care about the task. I've heard people say they dread giving eulogies. How, they ask, can you summarize a person's life in a series of moments? I always shrug.Username or Email Address. Remember Me. Pay tribute and celebrate the life of your friend by writing a heartfelt eulogy.

By reading the examples below you will see how a eulogy is typically written and what information is included. You should begin the writing process by collecting the information for the eulogy.

Spend time thinking about the memories you shared with your friend, what he or she taught you, what he or she enjoyed in life and why you will miss him or her. You can also speak to his or her other friends and family to help gather information for the eulogy.

eulogy for a friend with cancer

They can help tell you more about your friends childhood, education, career, family and interests. After you have collected the information for the eulogy you will need to turn it into a draft. Your first draft will likely contain too much information, spelling and grammar errors, but that is ok.

Rewrite the eulogy a few times until you produce the final version. Read your final draft aloud to friends and family. Use any suggestions they may have and write the final copy of the eulogy.

Before giving the eulogy at the funeral you should practice it a few times. Do not worry about memorizing the eulogy; it is perfectly ok to have the speech at the funeral.

When reading the speech you should read slowly, make eye contact with the audience and pause often to catch your breath. The example eulogies for a friend below will help inspire you to write a beautiful eulogy to your friend.

It is with great sadness that I stand in front of you today to celebrate the life of my friend. However, this is a question without an answer and we should not dwell on the loss of our dear friend, husband, son and brother. Kevin and I met in University during our first year. We were paired together as dorm roommates and this was the first time we both had lived away from home. Kevin and I bonded instantly and helped each other get through a difficult first year of school. He was always there when I needed help studying or someone to talk to.

We both got part time jobs working at the Starbucks on campus and saved up enough money to eventually move off campus together.

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I will always look back on university with fond memories and appreciate getting to know Kevin so well. After university Kevin and I remained good friends. Kevin loved the outdoors and had a small powerboat. Him and I would take the boat and fish as much as we could throughout the summer.

My favorite memories were using my truck to trailer the boat to some unexplored lake in the woods and spending the weekend camping, drinking beers, fishing and swimming. Kevin met his wife Karen through my wife. We are all incredibly close and he was the best man at my wedding and I was the best man at his.

When my son was born last year I knew that Kevin would make the perfect godfather. Kevin was incredibly responsible, intelligent and caring. I knew that I could trust him with anything and I respected him more than words can say. Kevin was a positive person and would not want us to be sad today.

If he were here he would tell us to cheer up, smile and remember all of the great memories we all shared. Even though Kevin may be gone, his memory will live on in all of us forever. Kevin I appreciate your friendship and will never forget you. I would like to say a few words about my friend Samantha.Can't create a legal advance directive right now? Complete a Trusted Decision Maker Formit's the next best thing. This website uses cookies to improve your experience.

We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish, and check out our cookie policy for more information. Finally cross it off your to-do list with help from FreeWill.

Writing a eulogy is no easy task. Creating a heartfelt tribute for a friend presents two unique challenges: expressing complicated feelings of grief in just a few short words, and offering those words to an audience.

The best thing you can do is write your eulogy from the heart. Start composing your speech as soon as you can, and make sure your words are genuine. Writing a eulogy for another loved one may be a bit different than writing one for a friend. Often, the family will reach out to family members and friends ahead of the funeral to ask if they would like to speak.

Generally, a eulogy should be between three and five minutes about words. However, if more than a few people are giving eulogies, you may be asked to keep it shorter.

If only one or two people are speaking, they might give you more time. Let your loved ones know. Create a free Cake end-of-life planning profile and share your funeral, legacy, legal, and health choices instantly. The sooner you get to work on your tribute, the better. Of course, this is often easier said than done.

When a friend passes away, you might have just a few days to prepare for the funeral. However, expressing your emotions on paper can help you cope in those early days of grieving. Eulogies differ from other pieces of funerary writing--obituaries and elegies--in crucial ways.

Tribute For a Friend - Eulogies

A eulogy should be personal in tone, and its purpose is to commemorate the deceased. A eulogy also differs from an elegywhich is a piece of poetry or lyrics dedicated to the departed.

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However, you might choose to include a short piece of poetry in your eulogy. The tone of a eulogy should be relatively casual and conversational. Next, sit down with a pen and paper, and just let the words flow naturally. Think back to the last time you saw your friend, and to the first day the two of you met.

Think about the best times you spent together, and the worst. What were your inside jokes, and how did they start? What was something only your friend knew about you and vice-versa?

When you give any speech, including a eulogy, one of the most important factors to consider is your audience. Now, you can start brainstorming some added ideas for the eulogy for your friend. If you followed Step 4, then you may have already answered some of the questions below.

Going over these concepts might stir up even more ideas for things you want to include in your eulogy:. When you look back on all of the notes you have so far, you might notice a running theme. Maybe your friend always showed strength in times of hardship.They've all been shared by their writers to help others: people like yourself.

One is that it provides a gateway to a growing collection of funeral speeches written by people from all over the world and who are, just like you. Scroll down and you'll see there are tributes for mothers, fathers, grand parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, colleagues It's our joint hope, those who have sent me their eulogies and mine, that they help, and inspire you.

If you need to write, then after reading them, you are able to begin. Or if you need comfort, that you find it. The second purpose and function of the page is that it enables people to share, via a submission form, the eulogies they have written.

Because writing a funeral speech can be a difficult, sad and lonely task. Having these example eulogies to read lessens the burden, and provides a starting place enabling a person to begin.

People share because they know how hard it can be to pull thoughts together. It's a kind and generous act, one that's been repeated over 50 times already. Wonderfully, some of the people who came searching for eulogy examples to help them write, have returned to share what they've they've written.

Almost as soon as I put them online they attracted an enormous number of visitors. It was then I realized the need for more. My two were definitely not enough!

I also realized the eulogies I had written would not appeal to everybody. People arrive here from all around the world. They have different faiths and different ways of honoring their dead. Hence this collection. The more eulogy samples we have, the more likely a person is going to find a speech that resonates and meets their needs.

Every day people search for tips on how to write eulogies or for eulogy examples.

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I know because of what I see in my web site visitor statistics. And you know how it is with a speech of this sort. There is usually very little time to prepare and you so want to get it right. Compiling a collection of eulogy examples helps in the best possible way. Reading what others have done inspires and gives folk the courage to do what they need to do.


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